Tuesday, June 9, 2009

BFFs... not just for high school anymore.

I recently found out that a very good friend of mine is moving very far away. According to the GPS system on my blackberry, it's exactly 19 hours and 35 minutes away. I may not be really good at math, but I have a feeling that this move may put an end to those last minute texts that always bring a smile to my face when I see, "wanna go to Porters for a drink tonight?".

While I understand the need for the move, I do question her ability to prioritize what the important things are in life. Husband job promotion vs. wine drinking with Kami? Exciting new opportunities vs. gossiping while wine drinking with Kami? Being closer to family vs. BBQs on the deck while drinking wine with Kami? Basically, I feel unfairly transported back to 9th grade when my bestie chose to hang out with her new boy over me on a Friday night. Ouch. It still hurts.

This particular friend and I became friends at a very difficult time in my life. Quite possibly the worst time in my life to be very honest. But she poured me glasses of Claret and listened and talked and laughed and told me either way it would be okay. I'm not saying I didn't have other friends do the same things at the same sucky time... but when a friendship forms like that... in the bathroom of a restaurant... it means something. Well after you wash your hands and replace your mascara, it means something.

Because of these new revelations of life... I have begun to think very long and deep about my peeps. I have decided that there are three things in life that I know very much to be true:

#1: "Just one more shot" is almost never a good idea.

#2: There is no stress in life that a new pair of shoes cannot make better.

#3: I need my friends.

Friends are not just people we hang out with, shop with, drink with and complain about our spouses with. It is my goal in this post to make you all realize how important, necessary and fabulous this thing called "friendship" truly is.

Friends are different from family. I know, I know... 99% of you just said "uh duh!". Family will hopefully love you for whatever or whoever you are. Family will hopefully never say out loud, "I wish you were more like....." But I think we all feel it or hear it from time to time. Even spouses can often mutter or blatantly proclaim, "Arrrgh... I wish you didn't (insert behavior that annoys spouse here)". But friends... not so much. Here's one reason why. The first time one of my friends dared to wish I was different in some way... well, I'd drop 'em like a hot pocket (I know... not a very intellectual phrase there... but how many times have each of us picked up a hot pocket fresh out of the microwave and well, dropped it? It's relatable, undoubtedly.)

So, in my opinion (which has to be right, because I thought of it.) True friends do three things. They allow us to be exactly who we are. They expect us to be nothing but who we are. And most importantly, they make us who we are. The first two there I don't believe need much elaboration. I mean, c'mon... if they are our friends, then chances are they are similar to who we are and if they are similar to who we are then who are they to complain about who we are. Does that make sense in anyone elses head but mine? Good. Thanks for agreeing.

Here's what it all comes down to ... Our true friends make us exactly who we are meant to be. If you have friends that stifle you, make you feel like you have to be something else, roll their eyes at your silliness or look at you like you are unworthy of sharing their air... move on. There are far more peeps in the chicken coop out there. I have no doubt in my mind that I have embarrassed (quite possibly mortified actually) my friends with my shenanigans and antics that I like to call "kamifoolery"... but they stand by me each and every time. They clean up my drunken puke, they come running when I call crying so hard I can't form words and more than anything... they listen and make me laugh. They give advice that they are pretty sure I'm not going to listen to because stubbornness and making poor decisions over and over again are part of the charm that is Kami.

But... more than anything else that I know is true... I know that each of them make me a little more of the authentic being that I am supposed to be because they give me the freedom to say, do, try and be new things every day (regardless of how ridiculous those things can and tend to be!). So... here it is. Without my friends, I have no idea who I would be. And because I think that I am pretty freakin fabulous.... I say to all my friends, old and new... thank you for letting me be whatever the hell it is that I am now and am supposed to become! :)

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Me, in a really ginormous, dysfunctional nutshell.

Hi. I need to start a blog. Well, really... I need to write a book. But, I have a bit of a short attention span which has made me write a dozen starts of books and for some reason unbeknownst to me... no one is interested in publishing starts of books. Their loss really.

So... if I'm going to do this, and more importantly, if you are going to read this... there are a few things you have to know about me. Have to. Do you feel pressured or intrigued? Hmmm.

First of all, I think I am the funniest person I know. I believe that this is a side effect of my high self esteem problem, but i'm okay with it. It's a syndrome that needs no medication, psychiatrists are bored by the idea and true friends will stick by me rather than roll their eyes at my exclamations of superiority over those less fortunate. So, with that said... if I write anything in the future that you don't understand, don't think is humorous or you are simply offended by... no worries, because chances are it totally cracked me up (and truly... that's all that matters).

Secondly, nothing makes me happier than the fact that i'm not really, really pretty. Bear with me for a minute... you'll understand. REALLY pretty chicks can't be egotistic, stuck up or overly confident in anything they do. Why? Because they'd be thought of as bitches. Wait, can I cuss here? I'll assume it's okay and carry on... Peeps like me (somewhat attractive broads with "really great personalities") can get away with comments like "dude, i'm the hottest chick here" in a sea of twenty-somethings with fake boobs and nothing better to do but work out 3 hours a day when I would rather sit on my arse drinking wine and eating cheese and bread. So, let it be known that I appreciate my parents for not bestowing upon me genes of exquisite beauty and poise, for i'd much rather have all my features in the right place and a kick ass wit about me.

Lastly... I am amazingly good at everything I've never done. I have no question in my mind that I am a champion snowboarder, I could beat the hell out of chess players world wide and I would be the best president we've ever had. The only thing holding me back from these phenominal tasks is that I've never even touched a snowboard. I do own a chessboard but have yet to play even once and politics... hmm... well, it has a tendency to bore me. Unless we are talking about Michelle's outfits and shoes. This concept of not trying new things goes very well along with a favorite quote of mine that I might very well have made up... "If you don't try, you won't fail". Makes sense to me! (For all of you out there concerned about my children being raised with the aforementioned moral diarrhea, fear not. I have anointed them with the appropriate adages of "If at first you don't succeed... try, try again" and "You cannot succeed if you do not try" and please don't forget "There is no try, there is only do". Good for kids, for those of us in the over 30 crowd.... "Don't try, don't fail". Enough said.

I appreciate this intimate walk we just shared into my opinions about myself... more to come about me and the world as I view it. Thank you, please drive through.