Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Which is worse... looking for a job or that perfect pair of jeans???

So, i've been looking for a job lately. Really for the first time, since in my life I have really only worked two places. One for a very long 13 years... and the next for 3. I only say "very long" to the first because it was 12 hour night shifts, and anyone who has worked nights knows that they add up kind of like dog years. 13 years feels like 30 for sure!

So here I am, looking on all the usual websites, asking friends if they know of any job leads and of course, wishing hoping and praying! What's the first thing you do when starting to look for a job? Well, look at your resume of course and hope it is impressive enough to land you an interview where you can be charming and witty and smart enough to get yourself the job. I haven't been very successful in scoring the interviews, which of course means I haven't been able to sell myself (no hidden message there, I am definitely considering prostitution as soon as Obama passes a law that enables ladies of the night to be eligible for health coverage).

Here's what I am now thinking... Our generation was really the first to learn more from TV and internet than school, so why wouldn't it be okay to use knowledge gained from these sources on our resumes? We could even start a new category on resumes for this information... let's say "multimedia gained skills".... I think it will catch on. I can just hear the next generations young and hopeful voices saying, "College? No, but i have 18 years of MGS"!

While I could go on for days about the "work experience" I have from TV watching, especially since my TV time has incredibly increased due to the lack of actual working hours lately, I will add just a few to my resume (in hopes of not distracting from the other, less important items like Bachelors degree and management experience). Here's a sampling:

*Master Chef (I have watched the crap out the Food Network.)

*FBI Behavioral Analysis Agent (yes, I have caught up and have now seen EVERY episode of Criminal Minds.)

*Doctor (not just any kind... I specialize in diagnosing the mystery diseases and have studied under Dr. Greg House for years now.)

*Rich, Pretentious Housewife (I know that this isn't necessarily a "job", but it's a skill I have mastered by watching Desperate Housewives.)

*Plastic Surgeon (in this area, I am doubly skilled from watching every season of Nip/Tuck and the occasional Dr. 90210.)

With all of these MGS's... I know you are all shocked that I am having trouble finding a decent job. But if you know of a company that needs someone with impressive skills such as mine, do pass it on to me! (Please note: A clothing, shoe and purse allowance would also be fabulous.)